Karin Elizabeth | February
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Self 2016, back to my roots

After my Banshee theme, which was the 3rd death-related theme in a row, I wanted something different for week 05. I needed it for myself, too.

During that week I had initially planned an awesome studio portrait – and at another time during this project, I will take this photo – but it didn’t feel right for that week. I do want to try and take photos that I feel are fitting and relevant to where I stand in life at that time, so that they have more personal value to me.

I found myself very drawn to plants: they are peaceful, calming and in ways even comforting to me. So that’s what I decided to do instead: a photo featuring my plants, in some way. I also felt inspired by the Pre-Raphaelites that week, and then it all came together. I chose some familiarity by editing the photos as I would have edited a lot of my self-portraits back in 2010, 2011.

KE-blog-week05-nugoed(On some computer screens, there may be some WordPress-induced pixelation.)

Staying in my comfort zone for a change was what I needed: the goal of getting a photo I felt comfortable with was at that point the most important thing. But I did learn that doing this offered a different kind of challenge… Yes, I want to evolve by trying out different things for Self 2016, but I also think it’s important to understand and accept what my strengths are without feeling like it’s “not good enough” because it’s not new enough.
I truly love these images. They are perfect because they expressed and gave me what I needed during week 05.

For theme 06 I actually wanted to stay in my comfort zone a little longer: I reminisced about the Jilted theme, using a detail of my actual wedding dress (instead of my white prom dress) for some really lovely close-ups. It’s another example of how my comfort zone yields satisfying work.
Once I got those nostalgic kinds of photos out of my system, I felt ready and inspired for a different atmosphere in the last two weeks (we’re in week 08 already!), so I’m keeping it varied.

I’ll post themes 06 and 07 in the week to come; week 08 will follow as soon as I’ve edited them, too. I’d like to be caught up with everything before week 10 starts…

Self 2016, week 04 and catching up

One thing to know about me as you follow my weekly project is that I am very chaotic, forgetful and easily distracted. Before I realize it, time will have flown by, and lo – I’m behind on editing and posting my self 2016 project. It definitely holds me back. Then there is my perfectionism: for week 04 I struggled with getting the tones and edit just right, and had to work on two computers with their own pitfalls before I finally got it just right. But about two weeks had passed since I’d taken the shot, and while I did work on subsequent themes in the meantime, I couldn’t edit them, couldn’t focus on them, until I had theme 04 juuuuuust right.

*sigh*

While I experience frustration with myself, and this kind of thing used to make me want to throw in the towel, this time I am determined to see it through. So what if I’m delayed with getting the results in? So what if I’m a little bit of a perfectionist at times? As long as new work is being produced, all of that ceases to really matter. I’m going to do my best, and learn from the process in the meantime.

KE-blog_theme04-bansheeSo forgetful in fact, that I had to write a reminder on my hand to take the damn shot before week’s end.

During week 02, which was about death, I had the idea to work with the banshee theme. Part of me was hesitant (which contributed to my taking until the weekend to even take the photo), because I’d already done back-to-back death-inspired photos for themes 02 and 03. A banshee would make it three in a row. But I was too drawn to it, and it was mostly the combination of The Netherlands’ very stormy, foreshadowing weather that week, and how a banshee photo would allow me to really express something, facially and directly, that made me want to do this in the end. The gusts of wind inspired me just as much as the desire to be overt in my expression.

It lead to a classic interpretation of The Banshee, save from perhaps the grey hair (hey, if Teen Wolf’s Lydia can get away with it, so can I), but I’m pretty happy with the shoot in general. It yielded a lot of great expressive shots (with perfect stormblown hair); once I’m caught up with the other themes, I’ll see if I can share a few more.

A quick watercolor update: 

In the meantime, I’ve also continued to work on my watercoloring. I ordered a lovely palette box from Winsor & Newton, with 24 pans, and so far I’m absolutely loving it. It’s starting to look used, and there’s something incredibly beautiful to me about images of used paint supplies. They’re little works of art in their own right!
Anyway, I’m posting little snippets of my finally-started-watercolor-pad on Instagram, but will be sure to share some finished works here soon as well. First, Self 2016 themes.

It’s kind of funny how this post started off as me complaining about how far behind I am… only to, at the end of the post, understand that this may be a good thing, to have SO MUCH to share that I fall behind. Amazing, really. It’s actually pretty damn fantastic to be in this position for a change. 

Self 2016, week 03

It took me some time to get these edited, but here we are. My third theme’s photos.

KE-theme03

I’ve always been fascinated by vampires. Those of you who’ve followed my work for a while know that I’ve done a lot of vampire self-portraits for Reading & Reviewing.

For this theme I wanted to use “the vampire” as a metaphor: the vampire as a representation of what it means to me to have a chronic condition. When I can’t function well on a day, when I think about the underlying cause, this is what I imagine: a taunting, dominant and powerful vampire. One that intimidates me. I feel like her victim, my blood and soul and life and energy sucked right out of me.

She is my opposite.

I wanted her to be elegant too for that reason, because it is so far from how I feel and look on a bad day. When I look in the mirror on those days, I don’t see her. It’s like a reverse of the Picture of Dorian Gray, or a health version of Jekyll & Hyde.

One day I’d like to overpower her.